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June 19, 2013, 05:43:31 AM

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News: Local shithead, Gorf Florfadorf was arrested recently, when it was discovered that he had been attempting to fraudulantly pass himself off as a minister in order to marry several local citizens to inanimate objects. 1 woman was unlawfully married to a box of moist towelettes, while 2 men were illigitimately wedded to the same can of Fresca.