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May 25, 2013, 03:48:48 AM

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News: Researchers at Cal-Tech announced that they have finally come up with a cure for male-pattern baldness. In a breakthrough paper released in the american journal "Science", Prof. Allistarn Wilkwwelhelf and Dr. Doctoringtoninger theorize that if we take every balding male between the age of 25 and 39 to an undisclosed location in the remote, south Okanogan desert and beat them to death with curling irons, that would pretty much put a stop to all that silly business.